WINDOW PAIN

The sound of a thump
against the window
my heart skips a beat
and then breaks
another bird
lying there on the ground beneath
Dead
And if that’s not painful enough
I brace myself for the call
of her long lost lover
searching
searching
searching.

Juvenile red-bellied woodpecker
You were stunned
dead still
for an excruciating amount of time
you stared up
down
fear in your eyes
Miraculously
you flew to the nearest tree
escaping the wrath?
or later dying
from a brain hemorrhage?

Phoebe my love
I cried
when I found you lying there
so delicately
with a broken neck
I awaited you every spring
your tail wagging
singing “Phoebe, Phoebe”
I sang along with you
And now all I hear
the haunting call
of your mate
frantically looking for you
In my dreams.

The indigo bunting hit
nearly killed me
a thud so loud
it made me jump
I couldn’t believe my ears
I was stunned
Iridescent blue so bright
so silent and still.

Oh beautiful female cardinal
sprawled out on the ground
but still breathing
I can see your heart racing
a mile a minute
mine stopped
you fly off
finally
the damage done
a concussion of sorts
at best a bruised head and neck.

I would have never believed
a hummingbird so tiny
could hit so loud and hard
A male with a ruby throat
to hold you in the palm of my hand
such a gift
but laced with sorrow.

So rare to show yourself
my beautiful male scarlet tanager
it was love at first sight
One day gathering cherries in my tree
the next day gone
the storm throwing you at my window
I saw the blood red of your feathers
from far away
and knew
I can’t yet bring myself to face you
to hold you gently
as I close my eyes and remember you
so I can create a remembrance
of you in all your full glory.